I feel so empty these lately, inside and outside. I don't know what am i doing 'here'. Sometimes i feel that i don't belong to this place. The place that taught me the meaning of life & being independent 5 years back. Again, i'm really empty inside and outside. I've been gifted with so much opportunities where there were few people are dying to have one as well or, to be me. I thanked Allah for all the rezeki that he has given to me. I'm happy yet I am still sad. Day and night I've been reciting the Quran and prays to Allah for giving me strength to stand by my own feet, for giving me companion so that i won't feel lonely, for giving me guidance & knowledge and the most important thing, being His khaleefah & adhering to all His regulations.
I felt down everytime i try to get up and stand still. In fact, i crawled everytime i try to run.
No one would help me, except for myself! I'm not sure whether i've already chosen the right path, or the other way around. I tried to make my parents pround of me and trying harder for the sake of seeing them happy. I'm dreaming of being a good daughter to my parents, securing a great position as an academician with all the qualifications required. I've already had my Degree, and now i'm juggling between works and Masters. *sigh*
To be frank, i H.A.T.E. doing my Masters here. If i quit, i'm a looser but if i keep on continue with it i'm in so much pain & miserable. I am being positive and that's the reason why i'm still here, trying harder to get up and stand still.
p/s: I'm looking forward for the IELTS exams.
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